"Honi soit qui mal y pense"
Legless Blog - Ian Reed / John McMiken
Legless blog archive for December 2008
For my current Blog click here!
British expat amputee in Thailand
'Let it be'
Legless Blog -I first decided to create this blog page after seeing all of the bad publicity given to and constant hounding of my fellow legless celebrity, Heather Mills on many other websites and in the media in general. This page I created as a place where I can state my personal opinions, thoughts and musings openly, and just share my views and feelings with the Internet World.
This is my legless website, I pay for it and I am the manager, owner/boss/ruler of it, so 'legless or not', as 'freedom of speech' is still a basic human right in true democratic countries where you can view this blog, then I feel that this is somewhere that I can speak my mind without recourse. This is not a commercial page, it is just my own social media page. Nobody has forced any of you to come here and nobody is holding you here, so if you don't agree or like what you are reading here, then please feel free to leave at anytime!
As someone who has exactly the same physical injuries that I have, I find that the hounding of Heather Mills by the media is disgusting. I now see how celebrities, legless or not, can never have a normal life, because they never have time to themselves without someone from the media trying to drag up any kind of dirt from what would just be a normal everyday incident to anyone else, but in Heather's case any normal incident gets sensationalised by the media. Heather's physical disability seems to incite them more, and being honest, if I personally was hounded the way that Heather is, then some of these media personnel would consider being only 'legless' a bonus after the physical injuries that I would personally inflict upon them. I am thoroughly disgusted at the treatment of Heather, I suppose you could call it a feeling of 'Legless unity', so if any of the media responsible are reading this blog, then in Paul McCartney's own words "Let it be". Listen to the music.
We are both legless!
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You can email me anytime at: blog@leglessfool.com
'The Legless Blog December 2008 by The Legless Fool'
I have had my Christmas theme websites displayed for over a month now and with Xmas this year already well past, I have been spending time over the last couple of days modifying my websites and webpages and even some of the backgrounds, to remove all reference to Xmas. For the New Year this year I shall not be changing the layouts much, just a few words wishing everyone a 'Happy New Year' and that should be fine.
Talking of the New Year, it is the time of year here in Thailand when Bangkok is almost deserted, just about all of the Thais here in Bangkok make their way back to their provinces of origin for the family get together for the New Year and this year the exodus has started already, by New Year's Eve Bangkok will be just like a deserted seaside resort town out of season. I personally quite like it like this way, I feel like I have a lot more breathing space around me at this time of year and I can spend a fairly quiet night outside on New Year's Eve just getting slowly sozzled at my own pace 
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Well, I hope that this New Year has some good luck in store for me, because I could certainly do with some for a change. Here's to wishing everyone reading this blog 'A very happy New Year for 2009' 
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Cheers for now 
The Legless Fool wishing everyone a Happy New Year
My nap until lunchtime this morning lasted until 5 pm this evening, so I think that the whisky was working overtime on me. At least when I woke up this evening there was no toothache, maybe it was just a passing thing in the morning or the whisky has killed the nerve in it .
So I just had time this evening to get ready and then go out to the front for my evening beer break, my Xmas dinner was already prepared in my room, but just as I liked to do in the UK, I like to have a couple of beers before my Xmas dinner, it gives me a better appetite. Sitting outside again this evening and looking at the sky, there was still a hazy cloud covering over Bangkok so I could not see Venus again this evening, I could see the clock at the cafe again so I didn't have to rely on Venus as my clock tonight, which was just as well because I couldn't see it anyway. 
Cheers for now
The Legless Fool wishing everyone a very Merry Xmas
After finishing my blog post last night, I immediately fell sideways onto my bed in an undisputed legless stupour, I am really not used to drinking whisky these days .
Then I woke up this morning at 5 am with an excruciating pain in one of my rear broken teeth, so I quickly found my packet of paracetomol tablets that I keep handy for emergencies and I put a tablet in my mouth, but the only drink that I could find easily without putting my leg on was the remains of the whisky that I had been drinking last night, so I swilled the tablet down quickly, but the pain was still really very bad and I know that it takes time for the tablet to work, I still had quite a bit of whisky left in my glass then so I thought that if I swilled some of it over the tooth that was hurting, maybe it would help a little .
The whisky did help me very quickly and eventually the paracetamol also kicked in and the pain subsided completely. The problem then, was that my glass was empty and I now had a taste for the whisky again , I don't personally consider myself to be an alcoholic, but starting on the whisky again at 5 am in the morning had me wondering, I justified this to myself by telling myself that it is Xmas now and you don't have toothache everyday, but would this be normal for anyone else? 
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Well, the whisky has made me tired again now, so I think that I should take another nap until lunchtime today, it is Xmas day after all and nothing really to do, so just make the most of it!
Goodnight again and Cheers for now
The Legless Fool wishing everyone a very Merry Xmas
I thought that I had planned everything and budgeted for today very well. When I awoke this morning, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought some special food for Xmas dinner for myself for tomorrow, I then returned to the minimart shop in my apartment block and purchased a large bottle of whisky for myself to celebrate Christmas with Venus as I had planned for this evening . I tested the whisky in the early afternoon just to check that it was up to the expected standard and then I proceeded to prepare my food ready for Xmas dinner the next day.
At my usual time in the early evening I went outside with my now full whisky and soda glass in my hand and I then made my way to my usual evening drinking venue. I wished the other people closeby there a 'Merry Xmas' and I sat at my usual seat and started waiting for Venus to appear below the overhead canopy. I could check the time easily this evening because the nearby cafe had moved the clock back to it's normal position again and when it got to 20:15 pm I started wondering why Venus had not appeared yet? I then walked out onto the road at the front of the block and there was no sign of Venus anywhere in the night sky at all tonight and taking a good look at the sky this evening I could see that it was covered in a hazy cloud, so all of my plans to wish Venus a 'Merry Xmas' with whisky on Xmas Eve were then shattered.
The night was not a total disaster though, one of the other occupants of the apartment block came to sit outside together with me later and we spent a reasonably long fairly legless night over a couple of beers talking about life in Thailand in general.
Cheers for now
The Legless Fool - Missing the star of the evening this Xmas - Merry Xmas to all
After my break for a couple of beers yesterday evening, I sat back down again at my computer and started reading through my main webpage about my book on my website and I just picked out a couple of words from some of the content on there, I chose 'Legless' from the title of the book and also the word 'trauma' from the main content, where I had mentioned that I had gone through an emotional trauma in the book and I then fed them into one of the major search engines. Well! My book came up number one on the first page of the search engine results pages (SERPs) on this search engine. So I then tried the same words with all of the other major search engines and I got exactly the same results with all of them.
So just like the search engines linked the words 'Legless fool' to me and that is the reason why I started using the name a long time ago, I am now also linked to the words 'Legless trauma'. I have absolutely no idea what a 'legless trauma' is or is supposedly meant to be, but the major search engines have now made me and my book the internet/web number one authority on the subject .
Then just a little while later, after being quite surprised at the way that the search engines had linked these two words together with my book webpage, I tried two other words from my book webpage content on a search, 'legless' and 'mistakes' and once again my book webpage came on the first results page from all of the search engines. So trying to work this out logically now, I think that I must have somewhere in the region of about five thousand keywords to use for all of my websites now, just as long as one of the words in each case is 'legless' .
Cheers for now
Dr. Legless Fool - The legless trauma specialist
About one week ago now I dropped my wristwatch on the floor in my room and it just quickly stopped working, then shaking it about a bit I could hear that something was rattling around inside it, so I thought that I must have unseated the battery. I don't personally have the tools available in my room to take the back off the watch and reseat the battery myself and I was not going to travel to some watch repair shop about 1km away, pay for the return transport and probably some extortionate price for the reseating of the battery in my watch, I don't need the watch much anyway because I have the time on my computer in my room and the money that I save on not having it repaired would be far more usefully spent on beer .
At about 18:30 pm each evening I usually take a break from my internet/computer work, I sit at the front of my apartment block and have a couple of beers in front of the small shop here, they close each evening at 21:00 pm, so I don't have too much time before they close for the night. I usually spend a couple of hours relaxing each evening with these beers at the front, before I make my way back to my room and start my internet work again. But, with not having my watch now it is a little bit of a problem knowing just how long that I have been sitting out there, there is a small cafe at the other end of the apartment block and I have been squinting at the small clock that they keep on a shelf there each night just to check what time it is and to make sure that I get my last beer before the shop closes .
Whilst I am having this beer break each evening, I always watch Venus descend into the Western sky and eventually disappear behind some trees in a garden opposite. Over quite a few nights now, just out of curiosity, I glanced at the clock when Venus just appeared below the overhead canopy at the front of the shop and also when it eventually disappeared behind the trees opposite and I made a mental note of these times.
This evening when I went out for my beer break though, I bought a beer at the shop, sat at my usual position at the front and I tried to check the time at the cafe, but this evening they had moved the clock which was a little bit frustrating for me. But I sat there drinking my beer as usual anyway and when Venus appeared in the sky below the overhead canopy, I knew from experience then that it was 20:00 pm, so I still had another hour to go before the shop closed! When Venus eventually disappeared behind the trees opposite a while later, I knew that it was 20:30 pm and that I had just thirty more minutes to buy another beer before the shop closed, so I could pace myself fairly well. Well, they say that 'necessity is the mother of invention', so I just use Venus as my evening beer clock now, it is certainly a lot cheaper than getting my watch fixed and probably more accurate anyway! .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - Using his Venus beer clock
For the first time that I can remember in my life, I am actually going to be spending Christmas alone this year, most days are the same to me nowadays anyway so Xmas is not going to be any different and it is nothing special for me these days. I am just pleased that this year for the first time in many years, I shall not have to put up with people around me falsely trying to show that they care for me and making false wishes to me for a 'Merry Xmas and a happy New Year' whilst syphoning my money off secretly in the background.
As I have said in one of my previous posts, I shall treat myself to a bottle of whisky this Christmas and I shall drink a toast to Venus as it descends in the Western sky over Xmas. I don't want anybody to pity me on here, it was my choice to stay alone this year and I have achieved what I set out to do six months ago, so it is a very good Christmas for me now and I hope that everyone reading this blog has a very good Xmas too.
You are allowed to get legless this holiday season, but be careful! Try not to get literally legless like me .
Merry Xmas and a happy New Year! .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - getting even more legless at Xmas and New Year
Even though I haven't mentioned them on here for a while now, I still have about half a dozen scammers on the go at any one time, it just amuses me playing with these sick fraudsters when I have finished my serious internet work for the day. I have stated on my anti-scam webpage at http://expostfacto.co.uk/Advancefeefraud.html that the people who operate these scams like to use uppercase characters in their email subject lines and for me now seeing this is a real giveaway, whenever I see a new email using uppercase characters in the subject, I know that I should file it in my 'scam directory' for amusement later.
Well maybe some of these internet scammers have been reading my anti-scam webpage themselves already, because the use of uppercase characters by these people has been reducing quite a lot lately. What seems to be their latest gimmick now, is to use titles in front of their names like Reverend or Doctor or sometimes both together like: Rev. Dr. William Smith, they also like to use English names too! I think that in their minds these titles will give them more legitimacy when their potential victims receive and read their emails. Having received many of these titled scammers emails now, I think that I should play a new game of one-upmanship with them and in my replies I should use the title of 'Sir' or 'Archbishop', I would find that quite amusing.
Or, maybe even like the scammers sometimes do, I could use both of the titles together and I could become Archbishop, Sir Ian Reed and by using a knight and a bishop together, maybe I could get a 'Checkmate' in their game faster.
Well I have to go now, I have to prepare for the diplomatic courier that is arriving here in Bangkok tomorrow with my $10,000,000.00 (Ten Million US Dollars only) .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - Sir Legless Fool to you scammers!
One week before Christmas and I am doing everything that I possibly can with my websites and search engine rankings to try and get my book Legless in Thailand noticed and hopefully sell some more copies over this Xmas period. My book has been available for almost two years now and other than someone informing me that they had bought a copy, I have not received one penny from my publishers yet. I know that I am not a professional writer, but for the reasonable price that my book is selling for, you can get a few hours of entertainment from my stupid actions/life in the story.
If someone does receive my book as a Xmas present this year, then after the holidays they could honestly tell their friends that they got Legless in Thailand at Christmas and at least it would be an interesting topic of conversation when they start back at work .
Well I shall definitely be legless in Thailand this Christmas and probably at the New Year too, I have decided to treat myself to a bottle of whisky for the holidays and "To hell with the expence!" I have yet to spend an evening in Bangkok watching Venus set in the West with a glass of whisky in my hand so it will definitely be a first for me, with lots of beer chasers of course! .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - Legless again in Thailand
This evening I took a break from my internet and computer work to sit outside for a couple of hours and have a beer, this has become a daily routine for me now and I really look forward to this break each day. Sitting outside this evening, the climate was just wonderful, the perfect temperature for me and no humidity at all, I was sitting there drinking my beer and watching Venus disappear over the horizon when a thought came into my mind "Wouldn't it be nice to find somewhere that had evenings like this every night."
Still sitting there mulling this over in my mind and enjoying my cool beer on this pleasant evening, I then started thinking logically about if there could possibly be such a place in this world. Then my world navigation systems experience kicked in and told me that there could not possibly be such a place, because of the inclination of the earth's axis and it's constant rotation around the sun, nowhere on earth could maintain a constant temperature and climate all year round. So then I started thinking about a place that would have what I personally consider a fairly reasonable fluctuation of temperature and climate and this is what I thought about for the next couple of hours until I finished my beer.
Still sitting outside this evening and having no computer at hand, the only conclusion that I could come up with in my head was to possibly try and live somewhere near one of the earth's calculated tropical lines (Cancer or Capricorn) at least there, I would be in a fairly warm climate which I personally would prefer, and the variations of temperature from one season to another would not be too great. Thinking about this passed the time this evening quite well and I thought that it would be an interesting topic of conversation for this blog tonight, the beer always helps me to think .
I shall have to spend more time on the internet now trying to find the perfect place in the world for me, according to my new criteria and ideas .
Just in passing, someone walked passed me this evening and mentioned the date, I then realised that tonight is my 22nd wedding anniversary, it is just unfortunate that we have been separated for 19 years and that my wife will not give me a divorce without a box full of money up front (Thai ---Censored!---). 
Cheers for now
The legless fool - Musing on location
Working with the search engines as I do and checking my keywords daily, I find it quite amazing why people who are not physically legless themselves use the word 'legless' on their websites and in their names. I would never have thought about the word if I were not literally legless myself, but now it seems to be the word most descriptive and applicable for me. Because there are so many other people using this word on the internet, then any website connected with this word is quite competitive on the web now and luckily I opened this legless blog quite a while ago, because there are quite a few others out there that would like this blog name and it's high ranking position on the search engines. I still don't really understand what the attraction of the word legless is, but if it helps me to sell my Legless in Thailand book then I am quite happy with it.
My name to my close friends is 'Legless' now and I personally find it quite amusing. The way that I look at it is that I am saddled with being legless for life now, so if you have got it then use it if you can .
I believe that it is a full moon tonight, well, I hope that it affects me and starts my teeth growing again because I seem to be losing them at a steady rate lately .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - Legless in both body and name
Yesterday having successfully gotten my money from the UK bank for the last time, I felt that I needed a night out for a change, so I went to my Bangkok local. On arrival at the pub the staff where doing a major move around of all of the furniture in there, so I just got myself a pint and went to sit outside where I could have a smoke, a pick-up truck arrived a short while later and a group of guys started unloading musical instruments, drums, amplifiers, etc. and carrying them into the pub, one of the guys, a Westerner, came and sat down with a few of us there and it turned out that he was the leader of a group 'Tommy and the Pestle Rock Band' and they were playing at the pub that night. Tommy was quite a good character, he was originally from France but like me, he had lived in Thailand for a very long time. I like music anyway, so I thought that this was turning out to be quite a good night and I was looking forward to listening to the music.
Lots of people soon started arriving at the pub and it very quickly got filled up inside the bar, so I remained seated outside which suited me anyway because I can smoke there. After a while listening to the band, someone behind me said "Hello there" and as I turned around to see who it was, I was very surprised to see my eldest son. My eldest son Douglas, I had not seen or heard from for about three years, so it was quite a pleasant surprise. He then told me that his wife and him had gone to a nearby bar that they sometimes used but found that it was closed that night, so he was going to go home when his wife suggested going to the Pickled Liver and she also said that because that day was father's day in Thailand (the King's birthday) maybe they would see me at the pub and it turned out to be right, even if it was just a coincidence. So we had quite a pleasant night talking together listening to the music and Nick the pub landlord had put some free food on that night, so we had food too.
So what just started out for me as a personal treat for a couple of quiet beers, turned into a very good night indeed.
Cheers for now
The legless fool's good night out
I was sitting outside drinking beer alone at the front of my apartment block as I usually do last night, every night I just sit there thinking about my books, stories, life and what to write on this blog and every night I always watch Venus descend into the Western sky and gradually disappear. But last night I was treated to a pleasant and slightly amusing sight, for a few days now I have watched Venus and Jupiter together disappear into the Western sky, but last night the crescent moon aligned with them too and it gave the impression of a smiling face, so I thought to myself "Even the heavens are amused at this legless fool".
Reading on the internet later, I found out that this alignment of the Moon, Venus and Jupiter will not happen again until the year 2052 and I do not think that I shall be around to see the next alignment legless or not .
Cheers for now
The legless fool - being watched from above
It was really very cold here last night, relatively cold for here that is, for the first time since I have been in my new room in Bangkok, I had to switch the ceiling fan off last night and I even had to don the duvet on the bed, that up until now has just been an accessory that I never use. I checked on the internet this morning and the BBC temperature records for Bangkok last night showed a low of 19 C, but my automatic body thermometer and the stump of my amputated leg which is very susceptible to the cold, told me that it was around 16 - 17 C and I know which report I believe .
Usually Xmas time is the coldest time of year here in Thailand and I have known it to drop to about 14 C in the nights here before, but with the cold nights starting this early, this year may be much colder than I have ever experienced here before, I think that I had better start looking for a hot-water bottle soon, if they sell such a thing here!
On a more sombre note now, I have been informed on the internet that today is world AIDS day, I am not sure if it is just an AIDS awareness day or if there is more to it than that, but it did remind me of something though, something that is always close to me anyway. A person very, very close to me before and one of the characters in my book Legless in Thailand named 'Phetchomphu' (the Thai name for Pink Diamond), was HIV positive and almost exactly two years ago now she died whilst I was out of the country on a visa trip to Penang.
'Pet' was the last girl that I had any real feelings for and I still wear the medallion around my neck that she gave to me three years ago now.
Cheers for now
The legless fool - In memory of Pet
To my blog Archive for November 2008
For my Current Blog click here!
To my Legless Fool Headquarters site
P.S. "I don't remember reading the small print when I signed on for this life, in fact, I don't remember signing on at all, I was probably legless then too! So seeing as you wont let me resign, can we renegotiate the contract please?"
My first published book - Legless in Thailand
My other blog at the St Helens Star newpaper, UK
My home town St Helens, UK and their famous rugby team
Some of my short stories HERE
Biography of author John McMiken
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